Category: WOMEN AND SOCIETY

A Life of Marriage and Motherhood? – The Celebration of Myself

~ womeninlivingness

by Cherise Holt, Nurse, Brisbane, Australia

As a little girl overjoyed to be a flower girl at a family wedding, I watched as a man and a woman proclaimed their love for each other: “I do – ‘til death do us part”. I believed I would grow up to marry a man whom I too would love forever. It appeared to me that is just what women did.

As a teenager I contended with low self-esteem, low self-worth, emotional issues, family loss and grief. I wanted a partner now more than ever, and I recall one day sharing tearfully to my mum, “I won’t ever have a boyfriend!”. And if I didn’t find one, would I be alone forever? Or perhaps worse still – who would I be in life?

When I was 16 I met a young man who told me he loved me… I thought “This was it! This must be true love!”. We shared a beautiful wedding ceremony when we were 21 and I eagerly discussed our future plans to have children as I knew I always wanted them. In fact, I believed I was pre-destined to be a mother. Continue reading “A Life of Marriage and Motherhood? – The Celebration of Myself” →

Mothering and Motherhood

~ womeninlivingness

by Anne Malatt, Australia

I have always been ‘good’ at anything I put effort into. If I wasn’t ‘good’ at it (riding a bicycle, for example) I would stop trying and refuse to do it any more. This way, I stayed good at everything I did!

I never thought I would be a ‘good’ mother. My own mother was a professional woman who worked hard all day, then came home and cooked all the meals and did all the household and garden chores. This was not a job I wanted for myself!

The only time I saw her sitting down was in the evenings, with a drink. I never saw her doing anything just for herself and remember her telling me that her own mother always called her ‘selfish’ if she tried to read a book or do anything just for her. Continue reading “Mothering and Motherhood” →

In The Company Of Women

~ womeninlivingness

by JK, UK

Whilst working recently I have been feeling just how lovely it is working with women, and how different my experiences are nowadays.

In my early days at work in the 1980’s, I worked in a number of different offices and environments with women. At that time I often observed bitchiness amongst one or two of the women, with one woman talking behind another’s back, for instance. Sometimes there were huddles of women gossiping about another woman, sometimes there were just silent facial expressions, door slamming and awkward moments amongst the women. In one particular group of women where I worked they even went so far as to ‘send one of the woman to Coventry’ – a phrase that described when all of the other women ganged up and totally ignored the one woman, not even speaking to her when she spoke – just a blank stony silence – a kind of ‘freezing out’ of that one woman. Continue reading “In The Company Of Women” →

The Choice between Poison and Inspiration

~ womeninlivingness

by Leonne Sharkey, Brisbane

My Experience of Competition and Comparison Between Women

At the women’s group last month, Mary-Louise Myers, a presenter on Women’s Health, spoke briefly about the competition and comparison that occurs between women. I knew immediately that Mary-Louise had stirred up something big that I had not allowed myself to really feel before. Of course I have always been aware of the competition between women, but I always thought it was something ‘out there’ in the world, ‘just the way things are’ – something that I was affected by, but in no way responsible for.

I love people, I really do. Most of my closest friends are women and I truly love and appreciate them. I cannot imagine deliberately trying to hurt another person, let alone those closest to me. I want nothing more than for myself and others to be living wonderful lives full of true love and joy. So you can understand my alarm when it dawned on me that I had never pondered the way in which I had personally compared myself to, and competed against, the women in my life. Continue reading “The Choice between Poison and Inspiration” →

Releasing Ideals and Opening up to the Natural Beauty of the True Woman within Me

~ womeninlivingness

by Nicole Serafin, Tintenbar, Australia

Growing up in a house with my two male cousins – one a little older than me, and the other a little younger – created an interesting dynamic for me as a girl, let alone when I started going through my teenage years and into puberty…

My parents treated us all equally. We went to the same school, had the same friends, went on holidays together and were all very close, wanting to do things together all the time… which in most cases was fine, but in some I found it wasn’t. Not because we didn’t want to, but because we weren’t always allowed. I began to find that the boys were treated differently to myself, often being able to go places and do things that I also wanted to do, but because I was a girl I was told it was not safe or just not ‘the done thing’. It didn’t take me long to realise this notion was the case in most situations, and also held in the world.

I began to notice that the boys were always allowed to do more activities – such as play more sports and go out to places that I was not able to go – even when I had been the same age. Society ‘told me’ that I was a girl and “girls did not do those sorts of things”. However, when or if I ever got hurt, felt vulnerable or expressed any kind of fragility, I was expected to “get over it and toughen up” like the boys. There was never any room or time for tears or feelings. It seemed I was supposed to be able to ‘tough it out’ as they say, but also when it suited I was to be a girl. I remember feeling and finding this extremely confusing. Continue reading “Releasing Ideals and Opening up to the Natural Beauty of the True Woman within Me” →

My To-Do List

~ womeninlivingness

by Rebekah Muntelwit, Sales Consultant / Interior Designer, Mackay, Australia

I have always been a woman of many to-do lists, checklists and tracking events etc. I have a goals list on my wall, a white board with things to be done, email notifications from myself, endless sticky note reminders and last but not least, two to-do lists on my phone – that I have with me constantly. As well as this I have things continually going through my head of what to do next (shopping list, count downs ‘till events and certain dates etc.).

And well, up until yesterday at the first Esoteric Women’s Group talk in Mackay, I didn’t really think that this could be contributing to the exhaustion and tiredness I frequently, if not always, feel! Continue reading “My To-Do List” →

Women, Comparison & Love

~ womeninlivingness

by Anonymous

Having grown up with 3 sisters, I know all about comparison and jealousy and competing for attention… And I know all about covering things up with niceties, manners and politeness when presenting to the rest of the world, yet knowing full well the feelings that are underlying between us.

When I reflect now, it’s sad to feel the way that we were with each other and in some ways, still are. How is it that 5 beautiful women (including my mum) were all living in the same house and, for a lot of the time, there were unspoken resentments, jealousies and judgments towards one another. It’s been hard to admit, but if I am really honest, that is the truth. And I played a full part in that. It is painful to feel that I measured myself constantly with my sisters and also with my parent’s expectations. Instead of expressing and getting it all out there in the open, we tended to hold things in and keep it all under lock and key, letting it all build up – with the inevitable emotional explosions from time to time. And all the while, so often our words and actions were laced with the insidiousness of anger, frustration or disappointment under the guise of ‘politeness’ or ‘niceness’. Continue reading “Women, Comparison & Love” →

Accepting Being a Woman

~ womeninlivingness

by Mrs Sandra Wilson, Brisbane, Australia, Master of Arts (MA)

I am 67 years old and am only just starting to accept myself as a woman.

I have been the dutiful daughter, the faithful wife and the caring mother. I played hippie, athlete, academic, all in an attempt to find meaning in life. Rarely have I been simply who I am as a woman, without trying to live up to other people’s expectations and to my own impossible ideals of how a perfect person should be.

When I looked in the mirror, the image looked gaunt and wasted. It is only since attending Universal Medicine courses that I realised how this came about. I had put myself through many hardships in order to prove that I was as good as any man. I spent many a night in wet bunks on ocean racing boats; many a night sleeping out under the stars in wild country; rock climbing or looking for aboriginal cave paintings. I brought up two children in a remote area without power or running water. For me then, it was a challenging adventure, but it was fuelled by a desperate need for love… Continue reading “Accepting Being a Woman” →

Inspiration is a Gift we Choose for Ourselves

~ womeninlivingness ~ 3 Comments

by  Rebecca Poole, Health Practitioner, BHsc, Brisbane

When we think of gifts that we might give ourselves we don’t usually think about giving ourselves the gift of Inspiration. I know until recently I hadn’t! For clarification, I am not talking about the bodily function of breathing air into our lungs. I am talking about the Ah hah! moments that can change our lives, and the little tug we get in our heart to tell us there is a more true way to live in our lives. This is what I call the start of inspiration.

Most of us would have experienced feeling inspired by someone and how uplifting this can be, but I had always assumed this had more to do with how inspiring a person was rather than an interaction that I was actively and crucially part of i.e., a gift I could choose to give myself. I am continuously inspired by many, including Mary-Louise Myers and Jenny Ellis, the presenters at last month’s Esoteric Developers Women’s Group in Brisbane. I am inspired by how preciously and delicately Mary-Louise holds herself, and how beautiful she is when she humorously shares how she has lived her life, warts and all. Jenny has such an art for sharing her awareness about life in a way that makes it simple and easy for others to grasp and make their own. During the last women’s presentation I was admiring how light and joyful Jenny felt while talking about her own experiences of menopause. I am forever grateful to these two women, whose reflection of grace, strength and beauty in their 40’s and 50’s allows me to embrace aging (something most women struggle with) joyfully and fearlessly. Continue reading “Inspiration is a Gift we Choose for Ourselves” →

Walking back: Re-connecting to the True Woman I already am

~ womeninlivingness

by Anonymous

When I was about 11 years old, I became obsessed with getting my period. Now, at that point I hadn’t yet, but I had heard about it from my family and friends and in my 11-year old mind thought it was the coolest thing I had ever heard. Every month I get to be special! I thought…

After that, I listened intently to my body, and with any pain in my tummy I would get a little excited and hope I was finally getting my period. A year later, I started to really notice that I was alone in my feelings towards this special event. My friends thought it was gross and would tell horror stories about their sisters bleeding on their uniforms, or about how much it hurt. I started to feel embarrassed that I was looking forward to it and so I would pretend I felt the same way, but kept my little secret. Continue reading “Walking back: Re-connecting to the True Woman I already am” →